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The Ecumenical Plastic Jesus

I ain't prejudiced...I offend everyone equally    ---Woody Guthrie

  I think nothing could be cuter
  Than to see magnetic Buddha
  sitting on the dashboard of my car
  Other drivers they throw fits
  Buddha he just sits and sits
  sits there on the dashboard of my car        

  For safety you can't top the Torah
  which explains the huge Menorah
  up there on the rooftop of my car
  I know I have done my utmost
  With my mezuzah on the doorpost
  Please touch it as you get into the car

  I press firmly on the pedal
  protected by a St. Chris medal
  fastened to the dashboard of my car
  Now I hear he's been demoted
  To him we'll no more be devoted
  I'll peel him from the dashboard of my car

  There's a crystal made of glass
  Which creates a blinding flash
  Hanging from the mirror of my car
  Though it makes it hard to see
  It brings the cosmic energy
  To focus on the dashboard of my car

  With other cars I will not tangle
  Long as I have that fine pentagle
  riding on the dashboard of my car
  My new car it has lots of room
  much better than my other broom
  <ad lib> I'm getting tired, could you drive a spell?

  My view ahead is clear to see
  Because an atheist that's me
  With nothing on the dashboard of my car
  On the road my sole protector
  Is a good radar detector
  Looking through the windshield of my car

  On the road I fear no moron
  For I have my trusty Koran
  Riding in the glove-box of my car
  My faith's as solid as can be
  I'll make the mountains come to me
  Soon I will no longer need the car

  Other drivers they should fear me 
  for I have their effigy
  riding on the dashboard of my car
  No more in life will they be grinnin'
  After I just shove this pin in 
  They'll wish they'd never bumped into this car

  Though in faith we are diverse
  In cars our outlook grows perverse
  We drive as though our brains was made of tar
  Different idols seem to linger
  But every driver has one finger
  Waving it at every other car


Copyright 1997 Greg Bullough
 

Email to: (greg@bullough.org)